I live in an apartment now. I actually like the community feel of it. And it sure was helpful to have a competent man with a toolbox next door when Twin2 got accidentally stuck in the bedroom while she and her sister were playing 'visit.' I also like the convenience of having a washer and dryer that I don't have to pay to repair. The only thing I don't like about the washer/dryer situation is that I now constantly need quarters. Quarters. QUARTERS.
I feel weirdly like a begger when I have to remember to ask for a roll of quarters each time I go to the grocery store or bank. Even though it is my money 'buying' the quarters, I still feel incredibly grateful whenever someone complies which, so far, has been every time. I would not feel this way if they were just giving me cash back or change.
Sometimes, just to bypass the bad quarter feeling, I will go into a laundromat and get quarters from one of the machines. I cannot make eye contact with the huge signs that read: "Quarters for customers only!" I will actually put on an act as if I am here to do laundry but I need to check things out first. I will casually look around as if sizing up the machines. I will then proceed to the quarter machine, put in my $5 or $10, have one last look at the washing machines (as if I plan to come right back with my laundry) and exit quarters in hand. Whew! This is hard on the nervous system.
The constant need for quarters reminds me a little of why I think I would not like to be a vampire. Besides the obvious moral issue of seducing and killing, what a hassle it would be! It is like this for me - with three kids and two elderly, throwupy cats, I wake up every morning with the awareness that very soon I will need quarters again. It weighs so heavily on me, sometimes I think I might as well have to find someone to suck the blood out of. And, like a vampire's thirst for blood, it is never-ending! Sometimes it feels like the laundry pile just won't get smaller no matter how many quarters I throw at it.
Oh well, at least I am not a vampire who also needs quarters to do laundry. That would REALLY suck.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Imagination Gone Wild
The other day, my daughter's kindergarten teacher approached me cautiously asking, "Is your son all right?" Apparently, Frida told her class that her brother went to the hospital and had both his eyes taken out. I guess she forgot to bring anything for 'show and tell.' A good story will always do in a pinch. Her brother is fine. He hasn't been to the hospital and both his eyes are still intact - where they're supposed to be.
It's a good thing Frida's kindergarten teacher appreciates her imagination. Once she finds out a story isn't based in truth she will go on to praise her and predict that she will be a playwright or an actress one day. She even gave us a copy of an article about the author, Maxine Hong Kingston, who also made up elaborate stories when she was little.
It does make me feel better to hear that it's normal and even a good thing to have such an active imagination. People do stare a bit fearfully when she is acting out a part in public. Recently, at a get-together of some friends, Frida performed an impromptu song that started like this: "Oh, my grandma died. And no one cared . . ." (for the record, she has two living grandmas and one living great grandma and we care about all of them. A lot).
Last summer, she went through a stage where she told people that we were from Mexico. Not too big a lie but embarassing when she told actual Mexicans. I couldn't figure out why she started doing this until I realized how much she identifies with the children's book about Frida Kahlo. I bought it for her first Christmas mostly because we spell her name the same way. Frida likes the way Frida Kahlo used her imagination to entertain herself after she was in an almost fatal accident as a young girl. She had lots of imaginary friends.
In spite of being a twin with another sibling and lots of friends, Frida relies on her imagination in the same way. When her twin sister won't play with her she says, "OK, I will just have to play with one of the invisible girls!" The other day she complained to me that an invisible girl was not being very nice. According to Frida, Mila, our resident invisible girl, is 'a little bit nice but a lot of mean.' I know she's having a bad day when even the imaginary friends start acting up. And I start to worry a bit that she takes her imagination too far sometimes. But it is one of her gifts and we mostly encourage her to use it. At least, as my mother would say, she'll never be bored!
It's a good thing Frida's kindergarten teacher appreciates her imagination. Once she finds out a story isn't based in truth she will go on to praise her and predict that she will be a playwright or an actress one day. She even gave us a copy of an article about the author, Maxine Hong Kingston, who also made up elaborate stories when she was little.
It does make me feel better to hear that it's normal and even a good thing to have such an active imagination. People do stare a bit fearfully when she is acting out a part in public. Recently, at a get-together of some friends, Frida performed an impromptu song that started like this: "Oh, my grandma died. And no one cared . . ." (for the record, she has two living grandmas and one living great grandma and we care about all of them. A lot).
Last summer, she went through a stage where she told people that we were from Mexico. Not too big a lie but embarassing when she told actual Mexicans. I couldn't figure out why she started doing this until I realized how much she identifies with the children's book about Frida Kahlo. I bought it for her first Christmas mostly because we spell her name the same way. Frida likes the way Frida Kahlo used her imagination to entertain herself after she was in an almost fatal accident as a young girl. She had lots of imaginary friends.
In spite of being a twin with another sibling and lots of friends, Frida relies on her imagination in the same way. When her twin sister won't play with her she says, "OK, I will just have to play with one of the invisible girls!" The other day she complained to me that an invisible girl was not being very nice. According to Frida, Mila, our resident invisible girl, is 'a little bit nice but a lot of mean.' I know she's having a bad day when even the imaginary friends start acting up. And I start to worry a bit that she takes her imagination too far sometimes. But it is one of her gifts and we mostly encourage her to use it. At least, as my mother would say, she'll never be bored!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Work Life Lessons from 'Black Swan'
OK, I finally saw Black Swan in spite of warnings from family and friends. I hate-loved it. Why do they go so over-the-top in horror movies? There were moments where I almost laughed out loud even though blood was coming out everywhere and there was some serious damage being done with a nail file.
Black Swan is the story of a ballerina who wants to leave the corps to become a lead dancer. I actually loved the overblown drama and the way the her story mirrored Swan Lake. She is a gorgeous, almost perfect dancer but has a crazy mother and a weirdly isolated life. And, apparently the New York City Ballet is about as toxic as a workplace can be. Might be due to my union and work life background but I started seeing it as a portrayal of all the ways work can really suck: age discrimination, sexual harassment, overtime abuse, work life imbalance, unsafe conditions, no job security and lack of solidarity with other ballerinas.
As one friend pointed out, this movie does not make being a ballerina look fun at all (understatement alert). But I did appreciate how the movie provided some fairly useful work life lessons for those trapped in horrific jobs. Here they are:
1. It pays to be bold.
2. Sometimes you ARE your own worst enemy - get out of your own way!
3. Just because you are your own worst enemy, doesn't mean you don't have actual enemies. Watch out!
4. Don't isolate yourself at work. Make at least one friend. Form a union if possible.
5. Your stuffed animals are probably holding you back. Declutter.
6. It doesn't really pay to take your job home with you. Take a break!
7. Too much overtime causes hallucinations.
8. Perfectionism can be fatal.
9. Listen to the person who had the job before you. They know your future.
Maybe the appeal of horror movies is that there are moments that people can relate to - being late for work for example - that they are allowed to take to a bone-chilling extreme.
I have loved hearing people's reactions to this movie. My grandmother hated it. My best friend loved it. I only screamed loudly and uncontrollably once (for those of you who have seen an action film with me, this is a REAL accomplishment). I still don't know if I would recommend it overall but I wasn't bored and I sure don't regret it.
Black Swan is the story of a ballerina who wants to leave the corps to become a lead dancer. I actually loved the overblown drama and the way the her story mirrored Swan Lake. She is a gorgeous, almost perfect dancer but has a crazy mother and a weirdly isolated life. And, apparently the New York City Ballet is about as toxic as a workplace can be. Might be due to my union and work life background but I started seeing it as a portrayal of all the ways work can really suck: age discrimination, sexual harassment, overtime abuse, work life imbalance, unsafe conditions, no job security and lack of solidarity with other ballerinas.
As one friend pointed out, this movie does not make being a ballerina look fun at all (understatement alert). But I did appreciate how the movie provided some fairly useful work life lessons for those trapped in horrific jobs. Here they are:
1. It pays to be bold.
2. Sometimes you ARE your own worst enemy - get out of your own way!
3. Just because you are your own worst enemy, doesn't mean you don't have actual enemies. Watch out!
4. Don't isolate yourself at work. Make at least one friend. Form a union if possible.
5. Your stuffed animals are probably holding you back. Declutter.
6. It doesn't really pay to take your job home with you. Take a break!
7. Too much overtime causes hallucinations.
8. Perfectionism can be fatal.
9. Listen to the person who had the job before you. They know your future.
Maybe the appeal of horror movies is that there are moments that people can relate to - being late for work for example - that they are allowed to take to a bone-chilling extreme.
I have loved hearing people's reactions to this movie. My grandmother hated it. My best friend loved it. I only screamed loudly and uncontrollably once (for those of you who have seen an action film with me, this is a REAL accomplishment). I still don't know if I would recommend it overall but I wasn't bored and I sure don't regret it.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tangled Up in Toilet Paper
Since we saw the movie "Tangled," one of my five-year-old twins has spent a portion of every day trying to figure out how to attach a blanket or something else to her head so she can go up to her tower and play Rapunzel. But blankets won't stay on and the scarves she tries to clip on sag downward and pull her hair. She finally figured out that she could clip a long section of toilet paper (clean, unused!) to her head with a hair clip and it would stay on. Every day this is her routine: as soon as she gets home, she runs for the bathroom to roll out her daily section of Rapunzel toilet paper hair and then she's off to the 'tower' (a bunch of pillows on top of a chair). We are all so used to this now, I didn't even notice a visiting neighbor's look of alarm as "Rapunzel" waltzed through the room with her teddy bear, a 4-foot length of toilet paper securley fastened to her head.
Her Godmother has spoken to her about the waste this daily extra curricular use of toilet paper represents. It does get annoying to find yards of abandoned toilet paper around the house. But as hobbies go, this is a fairly cheap one!
At 5, both twins are deep into the princess phase. I've been told by my friends with older girls that this does not last forever and to just enjoy it. I also have friends who more or less discourage a lot of princess things and they have some really good reasons, too. I'm looking forward to attending a discussion in Berkeley on February 7th by Peggy Orenstein about the subject of her new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter. From 'the front lines' she explores the meaning of the princess obsession and where it might lead. I can see both sides - the fun and creative exploration but also the stereotypes, over-emphasis on looks and a possibly unhealthy reverence for royalty. Believe me, I do see the darker implications - even while sitting on the couch with a 5-year-old who has toilet paper stuck to her head.
Her Godmother has spoken to her about the waste this daily extra curricular use of toilet paper represents. It does get annoying to find yards of abandoned toilet paper around the house. But as hobbies go, this is a fairly cheap one!
At 5, both twins are deep into the princess phase. I've been told by my friends with older girls that this does not last forever and to just enjoy it. I also have friends who more or less discourage a lot of princess things and they have some really good reasons, too. I'm looking forward to attending a discussion in Berkeley on February 7th by Peggy Orenstein about the subject of her new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter. From 'the front lines' she explores the meaning of the princess obsession and where it might lead. I can see both sides - the fun and creative exploration but also the stereotypes, over-emphasis on looks and a possibly unhealthy reverence for royalty. Believe me, I do see the darker implications - even while sitting on the couch with a 5-year-old who has toilet paper stuck to her head.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Seen anything 'amazing' lately?
I visited my grandmother in Orange County recently and I had an amazing time. At least until she commented on how often I used the word "Amazing." "Now you have mentioned at least eight 'amazing' things today," she said. "I think people overuse that word. When was the last time you were truly amazed?" She's right, of course. I now notice how often I and others around me claim that a person, place or thing is 'amazing.' So I've (mostly) stopped. It's a good thing - choosing words carefully. Of course, I'm already missing my amazing friends and seeing amazing movies, reading amazing books, viewing amazing sunsets, and just, generally having an amazing time. But I'll get over it.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year! Now Put Down the Duckie, Please.
I came this close to calling this blog "Put Down the Duckie" because it's a running theme in our house. Except here we say 'put down the book' about 1,000 times a day to our teenager. He reads constantly as an escape from his dismal life of chores and sharing space with his kindergartener twin sisters. The other day, I caught him trying to read while feeding the cat. Um, this doesn't work because you have to look where you are pouring the cat food.
People comment that I'm lucky my son loves to read because so many kids don't read books at all these days. I do think it's great. The problem comes when a kid is reading at the expense of other activities including schoolwork, homework, extracurricular activities and even socializing on the weekends. I realize that there probably aren't a ton of support groups out there for parents like me. But trying to convince him to take a break from reading in order to experience some of the other things life has to offer has been a challenge.
That's why I love the classic Sesame Street song "Put Down the Duckie." Ernie wants to play the saxophone but can't bear to put his rubber duckie down long enough to focus on learning. I was playing this song this morning (geeky mother-of-young-children that I am) to remind myself not to let my own harmless passtimes get in the way of doing other things I want or need to do. I have about 21 possible resolutions for 2011 but I have been searching for a theme. This is it: To be a better role model in 2011, I will put down the duckie and learn to play the saxophone! I'll also try to read a bit less . . .
People comment that I'm lucky my son loves to read because so many kids don't read books at all these days. I do think it's great. The problem comes when a kid is reading at the expense of other activities including schoolwork, homework, extracurricular activities and even socializing on the weekends. I realize that there probably aren't a ton of support groups out there for parents like me. But trying to convince him to take a break from reading in order to experience some of the other things life has to offer has been a challenge.
That's why I love the classic Sesame Street song "Put Down the Duckie." Ernie wants to play the saxophone but can't bear to put his rubber duckie down long enough to focus on learning. I was playing this song this morning (geeky mother-of-young-children that I am) to remind myself not to let my own harmless passtimes get in the way of doing other things I want or need to do. I have about 21 possible resolutions for 2011 but I have been searching for a theme. This is it: To be a better role model in 2011, I will put down the duckie and learn to play the saxophone! I'll also try to read a bit less . . .
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